Slipping away

My thoughts are slipping away. Do you ever have those moments when you think to yourself, "I need to write that down..." and you don't and then the thought is gone. This often happens to me when I'm slipping into sleep. My mind, as it continually rolls words and thoughts round and round, will bring me some really great ideas about the time I'm no longer interested in turning the light back on and finding a pen! It happended again last night and I told myself I'd remember today, but have not until now and even though I remember having the thought, I can't piece back together the parts to make a whole! Hhmm.

The last few days, some friends have been telling me I look tired! It's one of those moments when the inside has literally forced its way to the surface and it is spread all over my face. "I'm not tired per se, but just worn out," has been my response. It's been a busy year (FL to OR to FL to Puerto Rico to OR to FL to OR to Canada to FL to TX to FL to Argentina to Paraguay to FL to OR to FL and I think that's it!) and a crazy season the past month. So yes, I am a little worn out, but really it's been a ride!!!!!!!

I was looking over some notes last night. I carry a little notebook in my purse and write down notes of encouragement that others have shared or quotes that reach into my soul and strike a nerve and then reflect on them whenever I happen to open up the little book. I was reminded last night, life is about experiences, not finding and fulfilling a plan. The path or plan arises as we experience life. And today at church Ken reminded us that our destiny is lived out day to day, not pre-planned for we do not know the mind of God or how He might bring about life in our lives.

"Being alive is not the same as actually living." ----Are you alive or really living?

So, a few things in life are changing, but I'm not sharing the details because the plan keeps morphing! Bottom line, a few months here a few months there and in the fall I am hopeful to be in Seattle studying. In the meantime, I'm having a great time with friends in Orlando before another move. Christmas brought many opportunities of spending time with friends.

Liz, Janann, Shelly and I...some of the gals I meet with at Starbucks every Tuesday night!

We went to Disney for the day and then watched TinkerBell fly from the castle!;)

Erin, Shelly and I out on the town!

Sushi in Celebration with Melissa and Jennifer!


My Thursday morning ladies enjoying Christmas at EPCOT!
(MacKenzie, Meghan, and Brayshawna)

My house decorated for Christmas...or maybe that's Cinderella's castle!

Taste-testing Coca-Cola from around the world with MacKenzie and Meghan!

Yahoo! News Story - Comics and Editorial Cartoons: Close to Home on Yahoo! News

(stephanderson12@hotmail.com) has sent you a news article.
(Email address has not been verified.)
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Personal message:

Anyone back in the NW want a baby alligator for the kids for Christmas?!?!?

Thanks cousin Sharon for finding this! A good laugh

Comics and Editorial Cartoons: Close to Home on Yahoo! News

http://news.yahoo.com/comics/uclickcomics/20071211/cx_cl_uc/cl20071211

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Yahoo! News

http://news.yahoo.com/

So much to say...

First, I hope this link works. I've seen a few of these passed around. This features Steph and some Orlando girlfriends, Melissa and Jennifer. Jen decided it would be funny to set our feet to dancing.
http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1183468998

After you've enjoyed the link, there is really no easy way to share the whole story that leads me to the next statement...I'm driving home and moving my stuff with me. A turn of many circumstances and my own continued search for purpose and enjoyment for what seems to be living and moving about the country has brought me/is taking me back to OR. Again, I really don't know where to start and really don't know that all the details are even necessary. Suffice to say, I am well. Nothing negative here, unfortunate circumstance, but nothing God had not prepared my heart for. Funny how that works. I literally wrote some very significant things in my journal the morning of the day things here changed. If I start going into details, this blog will be 3 pages long, no I take that back, it would be a book. I've laughed about that with a friend here...she thinks I should be writing a book. The "happenings" have affected a few of us, but we are all fine. Thanks God. You'll get the story when we sit for a visit!

I am looking forward to this as I'm making plans to go back to school. The thought has crossed my mind a few times over the past year or two as I've transitioned places and jobs, but I could never decided on what to go back and study.

As much as I'm looking forward to the possibilities in the future, I'm again sad at leaving. Such is the case when moving and was the case moving here. My friend Alisa, college and long time pal, said to me last night..."None of us on this end are complaining!" Those words make a friend feel loved. Even so, I leave new friends here who I have experienced this chapter with. Just today at church one of them pulled me aside. He said, "Experiecne builds on experience. Go back knowing God is doing great things and with encouragement." I am, encouraged! Surreal, but I love adventure and this is another. At some point in life, I do hope to settle down. Until that factor, whatever it may be, presents itself, my feet will continue to take me along.

So, I didn't know if I'd ever get to drive across the country again, but here goes! I loved it last time and said I'd do it again...guess I get the opportunity.

Iguacu Falls

What do you know, the video feature works! I hope you enjoy this...it is so unfortunate that a camera is simply incapable of capturing the full magnitude, in this case, of the falls. It was powerful to stand on the edge here and look down, the power of the water moving down causing a mist and force of air upward that felt like a cool morning breeze! Just imagine the sound!

A string of events...until YOU find the meaning.

Life is spinning! Not really out of control, just non-stop movement since August 15th, when I headed out to Oregon. And now, I'm off to Argentina and Paraguay for 12 days. It seems as though, instantly, my year and maybe even the last two, have been so full of travel. I must admit I desired this and hoped for it...and well here it is. I'm enjoying it for all that it is and finding meaning and purpose in each trip.

Life is a string of events...that isn't necessarily a negative message IF you find meaning and purpose it those string of events. The events of life in Orlando are running together and I'm holding on for the ride.

Have I told you I changed jobs a few weeks ago?! Whew! Add to the spinning, but it is good, very good!

I will do my best to post while I am in South America!
Love, love, love

Before and After Me

"I remember having a warm, settled feeling as I sat on the porch and listened to the older folks remembering the shared stories of their lives. My sense of security grew from an awareness that all this had been going on before me, that though I was a part of it, I wasn't responsible for it." -J. Eldredge

From a book written by an author I've come to know over the last few years. I read this tonight and it resounded deep. I am reminded that all of this was happening before me and will go on after me. I am just a part of a larger plot. Always makes my mind reel though, with wonder, confusion, amazement.

Just a thought late tonight...

Sh;aring; all of life; with you!

Um, yes, you notice the semi-colon in; the title; and you will notice it throughout...it; seems m;y computer ;;has; some sort of bug; or; sticky key or something. And ;since I love to share life, all of life; and daily life with you, you are ;now privileged; to experience the annoying semi-colon. It ;makes for writing emails a bit; of a problem!

Started; the ;new job today; and am looking; forward to learning and growing in this new position. I am ;still headed to Paraguay; and Argentina (with; the ;previous job-it all seems to overlap!); later; this month,; the; 27th; through the 9th so be checking on here during that; time; as; I will post if access is available; and definitely after the; trip.

I; still have some Malibu stories ;to share, but am still working on them. Soon...;)

I'm Back!

Not sure that the exclamation point on the end of the heading is an ecstatic, "I'm back in Orlando!" or more so an "I'm back on here." I returned tonight and have been traveling the last 36 hours from north of Vancouver B.C. ...each second so worth the tiresome journey! From foot to boat to car to ferry to plane...I'm been on the move! Malibu was nothing less than wonderful. A get away with distinguished meaning. The drain on life is what tends to wear on the spiritual life, emotional, physical, etc and I am always so thankful for those times away that are refreshing. To see life outside of the normal daily demands.

Last week I got a taste of my dream job...barista! I spent time in the coffee shop at camp (Hamilton's) making drinks and had a blast. Getting to talk with people, learn and share stories, it was so much fun! I met some new, wonderful people who made the week a delight. I'll share more as the week goes by and I have some more time.

Until then, to all of you reading that I had the opportunity to visit...I love you and miss you, you bless me whenever I see you! And to new friends, I'm glad to have shared the week at Malibu with you!

Brad, Paula and I waiting for the "snow."

It "snowed" during one of the family game times!

Inspiration Point-A 6AM hike, or more like mountain climb, up up up to get a good look at camp.

Going Back

There are some places I'd often like to return, but much of the time make excuses, "oh, no I shouldn't, I don't have time" or just don't think outside of a narrowly regimented schedule. I am understanding that things are often more available to me than I usually expect. For example...returning to Malibu, the 'bu, the Rock, Young Life's Malibu Club. Last week, I was on the phone with the folks I worked with in Portland. These are the folks I met at Malibu, in Canada, back in 2000. "You have to come to Malibu the last week of August!" Oh, how I wanted to so badly, but didn't know how to make it work within my regimented thinking. So I started thinking about life outside of the planned calendar of events. I decided it was going to happen and started taking the necessary steps. The photos following show where I will be spending the last week of August serving at the camp during a week long "Military Camp." What?? Yes, the camp will be hosting military families, many if not most, whose fathers are over serving in Iraq.

This place is a place of personal retreat for me, so remote and removed. I spent one summer and part of another here and have some great memories. One of the pictures from the slide show at Gramp's service was taken on the "inner dock." Dad, Gramp, and another buddy were on a fishing trip a few inlets over. We tried to plan a trip for them to hire a water taxi and come over (the only way into camp is by boat or seaplane), but the trip through the inlets was too long for the timing and so I didn't expect to see them. Little did I know the connections they had. I woke up to a phone call on my day off somewhere between 9 and 10 in the morning. Remember, this was my day off (normal days had me up and running at 5am before camp came to life) so I was hoping to sleep in late especially after a night of "silent hockey." My boss called from one of the few phones in camp, "Stephanie, I need you to come down to the office as soon as you can." Yikes! Ok what's going on? I threw on my shorts and pulled my hair back as I descended the rock down to the boardwalk where the office sat. As soon as I got there, a couple of my co-workers started acting funny trying to distract me from the main street boardwalk. Finally, they let me out of the office door and there stood Dad and Gramp about 15 yards down the walk. I was so surprised and still rubbing sleep out of my eyes, but ecstatic to see them and have them on the property. I had 45 minutes to show them all of camp and then they were off again in the seaplane. It was a VERY special time for me...Malibu!

Shuttle Shuttle Shuttle!

Here they are! Some more pics, only I'm realizing as I pull them up to post that they may not be as exciting as expected! I don't know if I explained in the previous post, we couldn't actually see the shuttle until about 10 seconds after it launched. We were at a restaurant deck miles away, not at the actual NASA site. Anyway, 10 seconds into it you could see the shuttle and then the rumble started, kind of like thunder, as the massive shuttle lifts off. It really was exciting and basically unbelievable when you really think about it. I have since rented Apollo 13 and watched all the "extras" on the DVD as I continue my own space education!

Another launch is scheduled for August 7th. One of the mission specialist, Barbara Morgan, was the "back up" teacher for the '86 Challenger launch.
http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/shuttle/shuttlemissions/sts118/index.html

More Pics, say Pretty Please! :)

NTT I'm rolling on the floor here you have such a good memory and are adamant that I get those pictures up here!!! I'm going to have to stage another shuttle launch for you just to get some darn pictures! LOL Ok, I will try again. I didn't have my camera and one of the guys there said he'd email me pics and hasn't, so I'll try again! :) Love you!

Through the ways of my world

A new quote to ponder...

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away."
-Henry David Thoreau

If I might have the platform here to introduce you to a book I've been mulling over. As I've stated previously, Florida has been a gift of understanding more about how I'm wired, why I value certain things, how I respond in different situations, and where I am most productive and personally fulfilled, why I always feel somewhat discontented. Did you know that stirring inside is actually part of my wiring. That it is my personality to always feel somewhat discontented, but with a high level of commitment and responsibility. As for the responsibility piece, I could live without that. :) I could go on and on forever about this stuff, but really just intended to share with you a part from the book, PLEASE UNDERSTAND ME II, by David Keirsey.

"If you do not want what I want, Please try not to tell me that my want is wrong.
Or if my beliefs are different from yours, at least pause before you set out ot correct them.
Or if my emotion seems less or more intense than yours, given the circumstances, try not to ask me to feel other than I do.
Or if I act, or fail to act, in the manner of your design for action, please let me be.
I do not, for the moment at least, ask you to understand me. That will come only when you are willing to give up trying to change me into a copy of you.
If you will allow me any of my own wants, or emotions, or beliefs, or actions, then you open yourself to the possibility that some day these ways of mine might not seem so wrong, and might finally appear as right-for me. To put up with me is the first step to understanding me.
Not that you embrace my ways as right for you, but that you are no longer irritated or disappointed with me for my seeming waywardness. And one day, perhaps, in trying to understand me, you might come to prize my differences, and , far from seeking to change me, might preserve and even cherish those differences.
I may be your spouse, your parent, your offspring, your friend, your colleague. But, whatever our relation, this I know: You and I are fundamentally different and both of us have to march to our own drummer. "

Process and Analysis

Running out of steam this week. I've read way too many books in the last 7 days, not all of them from cover to cover, but my brain has been inundated and I'm on information overload! I knocked on my neighbor's door last night at 9:30 PM, "Can I borrow a movie?" I just needed to be able to check out with some very brainless activity minus tv commercials. Problem being, I continued to analyze, not myself, but the movie! That's what happens when you watch it alone, you have the permission to rewind and catch that phrase-word that you missed. So, I had the sub-titles on and was not about to miss anything. Deep sigh of relief...loosening the grip...relax...finding myself in another place...Costa Rica? Oh no, Florida! Ahh, but this too is good. The warm evenings are so nice!

Now that I've led you on one of my random rabbit trails! You are welcome, by the way. I know how much you love to follow the brain currents as the nuerons synapse from one to another! Wow, I'll stop!

Some food for thought...been busy making adjustments in life. You know, the story of the boat and the rudder. The captain is always making slight adjustments, nothing huge, just ever so slightly because if not, he will end up in a place he did not intend. He continually checks his position and makes the necessary changes. As with life, I am continuing to check my position and make the ever so slight adjustments. They are not significant for today or this week or even this month, but if I leave it for a few years I will find myself in a place I did not intend. So, the continually process... Process, analysis, RELAX, repeat. (The relax piece is new! At least in as much as learning to not only physically relax, but mentally taking a break too!)

Your Starbucks Cup Quote of the Day

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things

you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the

bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in

your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

-Mark Twain

No, I didn't see this on a Starbucks cup, but it should be! Came across it in a book I've been buried in the last few days.

Liftoff! More pics to come...

Atlantis

Do you remember Christa McAuliffe? I don't remember what grade I was in...second, third... the teachers at our little elementary school gathered all of us into the library to watch the Challenger launch. I remember sitting with Becky Peterson, an older and much smarter student, and as the shuttle split into pieces I sat there baffled. The teachers kind of scrambled and I remember looking at Becky and asking, "Was that supposed to happen?" Her quiet response without taking her eyes off of the tv, "I...don't...know." I cried later when I found out what had happened. As soon as it came out, I bought a book about all of the astronauts on the Challenger. I remember feeling such grief for their families, their children...empathy runs deep.

Do you remember President Reagan's speech?

And I want to say something to the school children of America who were watching the live coverage of the shuttle's takeoff. I know it is hard to understand, but sometimes painful things like this happen. It's all part of the process of exploration and discovery. It's all part of taking a chance and expanding man's horizons. The future doesn't belong to the fainthearted; it belongs to the brave. The Challenger crew was pulling us into the future, and we'll continue to follow them. ...

The crew of the space shuttle Challenger honored us by the manner in which they lived their lives. We will never forget them, nor the last time we saw them, this morning, as they prepared for their journey and waved good-bye and "slipped the surly bonds of earth" to "touch the face of God."

Well, tonight is another launch. Atlantis. I'm headed to Cocoa with some friends to watch the launch and will be back with whatever pictures I am able to capture on my beat-up, well traveled little camera! Oh yes, there have been many launches since the Challenger and other tragedies, but making plans to watch this tonight, live, has launched me back a few years.

4 hours, 39 minutes, 30 seconds and counting. Makes my heart beat faster curiously wondering what they must be thinking as they step into those big orange space suits. What an experience! Looking back on earth... wow.................... ...........................speechless!

Ok, enough rambling for today!

Perceive, Perception, Perceiver-

to become aware of, know, or identify by means of the senses. Ah the senses, glad to have them and yet all together tired of the steering caused by them.

My perception, led astray, the cautioned adventurer (can those two words sit together?) in me waited several months before exploring "the path." Covered with graffiti, separated from my vision, tall fencing skewed where it led, parental advice echoed "danger, danger" aaahhh, but I must know. Must give it opportunity to lead me to new territory. Ipod in hand, runners fastened securely, out the door-left, pass the pool, to congestion-left, to the fence-left, beyond the graffiti-right, down to the road and a world opens............why didn't I attempt this sooner.

I know, I know, sounds like I just walked into a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and if you're me, this is a pot of gold. A quaint old neighborhood that has been hiding from me behind a tall fence that separates our parking area and "the path." I finally took a walk there a while back and found a neighborhood! Something that reminded me of my neighborhood in the 'Couv, mismatched mailboxes, yards with lots of trees, trees hanging over the road offering shade, aunt Sally out pulling weeds and watering her flowers, mom and dad playing outside with the tots, waving to the new neighbor! I'm sure they think I've moved in down the street because I am taking advantage of their winding streets. Which leads me back to perception!

I perceived nothing like this existed within walking distance. They perceive I'm the new neighbor, maybe sometime I'll thank them for letting me borrow their paths.

Perception is a funny thing!

Pics from Anita and Damien's Visit

You can find me there doing one of two things, sitting with a book and pen or chatting over coffee. Starbucks, we love it and loathe it. It isn't always the best cup of coffee, but we love to go there and meet people. It is the well of our day, the watering hole, the place you wanna go where everybody knows your name. (And they give you free drinks if you haven't been in for a while!) The loathsome piece, $$$ and they generally keep the place at near freezing temperatures!

(So, I enjoy the outdoors.)

Anita and I enjoyed the Starbucks out my front door! In Bern Switzerland they have only one and she said it is very expensive. I think she made a daily trip, some without me! The simple things, a cup of coffee, can make your day.

We had a great time putt-putt golfing. I even made a hole in one! Pure skill...ok ok I mean luck!

Sushi in Celebration.

Downtown Orlando around Lake Eola.

I have this great breakfast place to take you to when you visit...you make your own pancakes and they are delicious. Damien's morning special, Blueberry cakes.

Lounging on the best couch in the world before heading out to music and bbq...we must have been waiting on Damien. :) (seriously...I know I said STUFF doesn't matter, but this couch is a GOOD couch:) )

Had a great visit with those two. Fun to catch up and connect again. Crazy to think we only spent a few weeks together in Costa Rica, but those first two weeks were the scariest and I was so happy to have met Anita the first day of classes and Damien soon there after. Anita was here almost a week before Damien joined us. During that week we spent so much time simply visiting. I was looking through her Florida travel book and came across a picture of myself she had taken in our little classroom. I just laughed and pointed to the picture! Her response, "I didn't know if I'd recognize you so I brought a picture." I really am looking forward to a vacation to Switzerland in the near future......The world continues to grow smaller!

Stuff...one faint thought

This past month, I've been thinking about stuff. My stuff. My belongings. My collection of goods. I find myself looking around thinking, "This stuff really doesn't mean anything." It carries no lasting value. I'm sure at some point I'll want to trade in this stuff, which will become old stuff, and get some new stuff, but it ultimately never changes my life. So, I have some meaningful stuff, but am not a collector of stuff.

Recently, I came across an unfortunate piece of information. The bottom line of that information...a woman was describing how upset she was that some of her stuff had been thrown out in order to help more people. I hope you can follow. I speak loosely because this incident comes in so many different shades and shapes that it entangles each of our lifes. Holding on to Stuff. A few nights back, I went to pick up leftovers from Panara Bread Co. for one of our GraceRiver events. I met a man there who was waiting for leftovers as well. An engineer whose wife and kids up and left him a year ago so now he spends his nights picking up leftovers from several of the Paneras and delivering to Salvation Army, other food shelters, and homeless women and kids in one of the homeless hubs of Orlando. This guy has taken lemons and made lemonade. I admire that. He's on to something. People, they are important, but do we value them enough to inconvenience our lives and forget about our "stuff" if it helps someone else? Just a thought.

P.S. It's spring! You know what that means...get rid of some of your stuff! It might help someone else! I speak of both physical stuff and emotional stuff here. If you're holding on to emotional stuff...takes a few steps beyond that and love the people in your life.

Mother's Day-Exposing you to Honor you!

As I sit here writing the thoughts my heart pushes through my hand and ultimately the black ink on this white card, I realize how meaningless sometimes it feels to send card after card, year after year saying ultimately the same thing. Though I mean every bit of it every year, should the receiver of those affections become numb to my words and sentiments, I'm afraid it would lose the impact. So to honor you, MOM, I will tell what I think of you on here!

I'm so proud of you for the way you live your life so sacrificially when it comes to not only your family, but your community. The way you cared for Grandpa over the past few years, the way you continue to mother not only your own children, but those of your nieces and nephews...and yes I say nieces (plural) because you've taken them in as family from the beginning. The way you care for all those little kids who have passed through your arms because they tripped on the playground and needed a bandaid or wanted a hug because they don't get that attention at home...you are loving and tender, but treat them with respect and expect them to act accordingly. Oh how I know this... I think I remember lying to you once in my life (I don't remember any others;)!Really! I just knew you expected better behavior of me! And then of course there was Dad's 6'2" frame lingering over us. Without even speaking, it said, "You better listen to your mother." Even the big kids in Powers, all those elderly people...the way you respond to a phone call by going and checking on them. You are a busy woman and I've always given you a hard time for all the activities you commit yourself to. "Mom, you need to take more time for yourself," I've always pushed. But, it's because you are truly a mother that you couldn't/can't give up being that which is wired in you. The way you cheer us on...you've been a great cheerleader. Sometimes it has taken you longer to climb aboard for all my crazy ideas and plans. Never the less, you cheer me on. One of my sweetest memories is picturing you up at the top of the bleachers wearing your proud-parent-of-a-Cruiser face and I knew you were pulling for me. I think you have a little bit of Grandpa Jack in you! And at his funeral when Jim announced how Jack and Alvena had raised up three fine children, I was so proud of you and my uncles. You see, I've always know this about you, but when others celebrate it too, I smile inside. And your hugs, the way you hugged me in my youth when you knew my feelings had been hurt or now later in life when you know so many times life just requires a silent hug. I love you for all of it!

You are a mother to so many, but your my mom and I'm so proud of that and love you so much!

Happy Mother's Day