Saturday, February 28, 2009

short thoughts

i'm living in a frequency this week in which i feel as if my thoughts are short circuiting. i have trouble completing sentences and more importantly thoughts. so, here's the short list:

i'm most likely moving again. to a house in the neighborhood with a few other gals. sharing walls with my neighbor is causing tension in my life. a house, please!

my feet hurt-standing and walking in circles all day...this may be a contributor to my short thoughts... all day i'm humming soy, coffee, wheat, whites only, mocha add shot ..................i really like my job! (i'm being serious)

i had dinner tonight with a couple who live in bolivia (south america) and who i continue to meet in my travels to central and south america (including cuba). i wonder what may unfold when these meetings continue to happen. AND will obama raise the embargo?

boys keep dropping in and out of my life. i'll let you know when one sticks for longer than usual. until then, be at peace with the knowledge that there are in fact still fish in the sea! :)

i finally have a couch. i'm still sitting in my wooden chair looking at the couch across the room. it's a nice couch!

my fridge is pretty empty and not because i don't go to the grocery store. i'm learning that it is actually possibly cheaper to meet friends for happy hour than to keep a stocked kitchen. food spoils quickly when your feeding one. (social reasons not included in preceding comment)

i attended an ash wednesday service this past week. the mantra rattling through my head from that evening, the phrase they continued to repeat as they marked every individuals forehead with ashes in the sign of the cross "remember, from dust you came, to dust you shall return."

i subconsciously think i'm still in florida where the winter weather is chilly (40's to 50's) for a few days and then back in the 70s. i keep thinking warm weather is just a few days away and it is not yet spring.

i'm getting wrinkles. i don't know if this is stress from my neighbor or age related. if it is the latter, i welcome them for they mean that i have lived many fine days. if the former, let them disappear and be replaced with time, not stress.

i'm getting old. saturday night, 10:17 pm and this chick is off to bed!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


(I'm not going to comment on my disappearance from blogging (though I just did!). )
Quick update: I am an employed woman now and enjoying my job as a "bartender" at a great, well established Portland restaurant just 5 blocks from my apartment. I put bartender in quotes because I don't feel my job is what one traditionally thinks of when they hear the word. My barista experience has come back to provide a fun job in this crazy economy and I'm thankful. Blah blah blah, I don't really feel like talking about the surfacey events in my life and my intent with my musings on here is to offer more heart spoken, vulnerable contemplations on my life, maybe more so my inside life though my outside life and inside life are married and I intend to keep it that way. Here I go on a tangent...............I don't desire to live one without the other and this blog has been an essential part of the process to let my inside world out! :)

Here we go, journeying forward, again.

So, I recently (last November) spent a weekend with my former employer from Florida, Greg Wiens and another one of the staff members, Max Strothers from Florida. I was invited to Kennewick, WA to sit in on a church consultation. I won't go into details about that because it would take pages and is not the point. My time in Florida was MONUMENTAL-STRATEGIC-FOREVER IMPRESSING on my development. It has not stopped and I continue to desire this for my own life because it has channeled itself into deep, moving conversations into other lives as well. That time with Greg and Max led to another opportunity for personal development. During my Orlando venture, Greg introduced me to new ideas and tools for personality assessment and knowing who I am, how I'm wired, what makes me tick etc. Something he required for staff and which I embraced wholeheartedly. I even had to take a few tests before I went to Florida for the interview. This was just the beginning of my exposure and upon my trip to Kennewick, Max offered more of the same. So, this past week I spent a few hours taking personality tests--- emotional intelligence, conflict management, how I operate in certain situations, how I view the world, myself etc etc. on and on! I love this stuff! Just yesterday, I spent a long phone conversation going over the details of the assessment as Max took me through the results and showed me where he was reading especially between the lines. I am continually being informed which causes me to keep working out the details in life. For example, I am an avoider and accommodater in conflict situations...not good because then I begin to destroy the inside of me while the other person is happily contented to win over the situation. I'm not saying that's bad for them, just that it's not good to deal with conflict by avoiding it, HELLO. I think we all know this, I'm asking Max, "How do I begin to operate differently, how do I approach those situations." Over the course of the phone call, insight fell before me as my phone went dead. We decided I would chew on what I had and discuss more again soon. Again, I love this stuff! If you're curious about yourself, I can suggest some great books.
Parker Palmer-Let Your Life Speak
Tom Rath-StrengthsFinder 2.0 (Includes a phenominal test to discovering your wonderful abilities)
Marcus Buckingham-Now, Discover Your Strengths (the first version of StrengthsFinder 2.0)
Gary Chapman-The Five Love Languages

Keep checking me, I'm lining them up so you're not bombarded with one blog update!