Thursday, April 21, 2011

God, SOS

This is where I falter.  This is where my nerves start going crazy and my insides are constantly on edge.  This is when I need help.  It's when I hit exhaustion because sleep does not come easy.  It's when my heart's walls have been penetrated and moved and I feel as if I'm being pulled in multiple directions.  It's when I get short-sighted and do not focus on the long term hopes and dreams.  It's when I begin to make other plans, when I reconcile failed plans with the ultimate Planner, come to peace, start dreaming about other possibilities and then am suddenly jerked into another reality.  A good reality.  A reality I've hoped for.  When a dream seems too good to be true and then it comes to pass.  When the hopes of coming back here later this year for a few more weeks or another month are suddenly put out because a new reality holds the trump card.  My heart aches tonight, a lot. It's a good ache, sure.  It still aches.

Father help me.  Overcome the limits I place on Your GOOD and FULL OF LIFE plans for my life.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I understand what you are saying and that your heart is aching, BUT you will go back, just not as quickly. All that is happening now is good for the future, I know you know that. You still have some time there, make the most of it, get some rest and tomorrow will be better. A good nights rest will do wonders. We love you so much. M&D