Finale

This is an awkward place to sit, hanging in the balance of not there and not quite here.  That's how it feels being back in Portland getting ready for school.  I've had a few needles in my arms the last few weeks, have been on the computer completing all the prerequisite training modules…HIPPA (oh so interesting), emergency codes and training etc.  In between all this fun activity, I feel a bit lost in the waiting.  I keep thinking about writing and wanting to share stories about POP, but being here and writing about there feels strange.  Honestly, I don't know what to share.  I'm aware of having left out many details and gaps in the stories I did share.  I intended to write about the POP staff, a more detailed version of the activities at the clinic, what it looks like when a team shows up for a week, more about the girls and some fun activities, a visit on Easter Sunday from US Senator Mary Landrieu, but I'm lacking.  Maybe this blog has been nagging and calling more because of my own, practical desire to archive those events and not necessarily for you who read.  So, I'm extending myself grace to call this finished though in many ways it is still incomplete.  (Ah, that sounds like a life lesson!)  As I thought about what I'd fill in in these last few posts (which have been condensed into this ONE), I got sad and started to reconsider my initial conviction of putting the ol' blog on the shelf.  And then I quickly resigned that feeling sad is by no means a reason to keep this open.  Looking out the window, my first thought, "Today is a new day."  I'm picturing stacks of notecards and books in my future, looking forward to and thankful for the opportunity to study at OHSU!!!!!!!, and eager to take full advantage of throwing myself into this learning process.

So, it seems fitting to sign off in a place that is out of the ordinary. Ok, I'm sentimental and I want to remember this!  I'm sitting in a huge bay window on the second story of a beautiful home of a friend.  A bit of a retreat, yes.  Why?  Because the opportunity presented itself and a few days at the sea resonated within.  I'm in Depoe Bay, staring at the waves crashing against the rock cliff just below my window.  An appropriate place to wrap things up!  Acutely aware of His closeness.  "He is more intimate with us than we are with ourselves." -Augustine  I'm especially thankful for this insight, in it I find peace and grace.  Journey Forth- I'm thankful for this place to have shared about life, it's been cathartic and encouraging. 

Lastly, I'm still currently head over heals for a new favorite author, Brennan Manning, and just about to finish another of his books, Lion and the Lamb.  Here is where my mind was trapped today…Manning writes:

The story goes that Thomas Aquinas, perhaps the world's greatest theologian, toward the end of his life suddenly stopped writing.  When his secretary complained that his work was unfinished, Thomas replied: "Brother Reginald, when I was at prayer a few months ago, I experienced something of the reality of Jesus Christ. That day, I lost all appetite for writing.  In fact, all I have ever written about Christ seems now to me to be like straw."


Father, grace us with the reality of Your presence, that all else might pale in comparison.