away today...

Away today on a personal retreat. Looking back thru old journals,
sitting here at Skamania lodge with a fire and a view of the Columbia
yet my soul is a bit disturbed from these old writings..."Dream of all
Dreams" WOW!!! Not what I dream about these days. Why have I spent so
much time in angst over what God was up to in my life. I get the
feeling I missed out on some living, but then am reminded of the
process of the journey. That immaturity, ridiculous prayers and
dreams, stages, chapters, and growth are just a part of life and
living. I think it's safe to say, I truly feel alive and in my own
skin thanks to escaping my 20's!!! And partly thanks to those old
journals that (though painful to reread) allowed me to empty myself
onto a page. I will look back at these years and feel some of the
same, some pain from prayers seemingly unattended to by the hand of my
Father, yet with swells of hope for the life He IS giving.

I'm sitting with 1 question today and have not been able to wrangle
the many thoughts into a simple answer. The question, "What RIDICULOUS
prayer are you praying in this season?". It's not that I am unaware of
my wants desires needs etc, but how do you answer that...what is so
ridiculous that the only way to explain it is "but God." And how can I
simplify it into 1 ridiculous prayer when truthfully there are
potentially many. But God, so capable "and the reality is nothing is
too difficult for God." So, pray away I will, all my ridiculous
prayers, and be happy to live in to life as I wish I might have in
those old journals.

Sent from my iPhone